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Simon Hi Simon, Thank you so much for reading my blog and for your comment.I know so many of us can relate to your feelings…I hope you can forgive yourself at some point.Even if we lived in a state where choosing death is an option, Mummy would have to possess the mental capacity to make this crucial decision and then personally carry it out. *Photo Purchased From i Stock Photo Tagged as: aging, aging parents, Alzheimer's blog, Alzheimer's disease, care giving, caregiver, cognitive abilities, cognitive function, Dating Dementia, dementia, elderly, end of life, end of life decisions, how to die, older adult, older parents, sandwich generation I feel the same way you do and I do believe in God, I just do not understand why he would let people live in this horrible state, it is emotionally and financially draining on their family.Sadly, she is far beyond the point of making any decisions, especially the choice to end her own life. She doesn’t have a lot of money and my Dad passed last year he left a little but NOT enough to afford her nursing home and she had to go because she was not taking care of herself.My mother has almost forced this onto my dad who loves her too much to ever speak his mind around her since she is so emotionally fragile she will break down. He chokes on his food and has started to get reoccuring chest infections due to him aspirating it. I thought of this as a blessing because I see it as his way to leave this world in peace and finally be out of his misery.I’ve questioned her before as to why they don’t consider a home (before he was placed in the rehab last week) and she breaks down and says I don’t get to ask questions since I moved out of their house 6 years ago. He always told me he never wanted to suffer when it was his time. They even asked me to pray for him to “bounce back” which, put lightly, caused me to snap.
Then, she managed the care of her brother, a lifelong bachelor, who had probable Alzheimer’s.I’ve learned that caring for someone with Alzheimer’s is filled with regret that lasts long after the person dies.You are not alone in having those feelings, and many people also feel “crushed” by the caregiving experience.She is entering the latter stages of dementia and has already lost so much cognitive ability.Even with all the research and focus on Alzheimer’s, there is no cure and not even effective treatment or drugs that will slow the progression of this elusive disease.
As long as I can remember my parents have been feeding, bathing, brushing teeth, dressing, and moving my grandfather from place to place. He does not recognize any of us and is only responsive to music.